I've met some friends after a long long time. And they said: "Oh, you're wonderful, I can see you're alright. But relax honey, you work too hard. I know you're succesful and all but just take some time to party." And I was shocked. Of course I said I'm fine. But ... fuckidy fuck fuck ... I iz not aaright. Bottom line - so, I have to be fucked up in every level of my being to look like I have a wonderful life, full of flowers and rainbows and bloody sweet pink and baby blue whatevers (that make me puke anyway)?
There is one more thing I don't understand: I wasn't really dressed up. I had a black dress and thights - I was like half of the girls in Slovenia that have no idea how to dress up - and the dress was everything but tight. I did it on purpose. I didn't want to show any part of my body that I actually like nor the one I don't like. And I didn't want anyone to look at me. Unfortunately I ignored the fact that my friend is not very tall - conequently everyone looked at us, because he is small and I am tall. And he said I'm wonderful. At this point I wished my darling would be in Ljubljana to agree with me. He knows better - this is what I wear at home when I'm cleaning or cooking. All in all the evening was nice. Driving in a Mercedes (oh my god, I really love nice cars, I enjoy driving (in) them), eating pizza in the middle of the night, drinking martini from a proper glass ... and being with someone who understands I don't speak always. So what if some think the world is already mine, some day it will be.
And I got another surprise today, my dearest friend is back. And the first thing he did: he asked me if I'm alright.